Today is our Paper Wedding Anniversary, which means me and my husband have been married for one year. It’s crazy to think back to our big day and how quick time has gone. Not going to lie, we’re gutted we’ll be celebrating it during a global pandemic – cheers Covid-19 – with all our original plans out the window. But I guess it’s been nice to spend 24/7 with my husband these past couple weeks! I want to look back over the last year and share some of my experiences, learnings and thoughts as a Mrs.
People will expect you to have a baby ASAP.
Without a doubt you’ll be asked by almost everyone, “So, when will there be little ones running around?”. Some people say it just because they’re excited for your new journey and perhaps know you want to start a family someday. Others say it because they think it’s the norm to try and conceive during your honeymoon. Others say it because perhaps they don’t know what else to ask…maybe try, how was the Honeymoon? How’s married life? Has your bank account bounced back since the cost of the wedding? Take your pick.
You will forget your new name.
If you’ve decided to take your partner’s name, you will forget it. I constantly wrote my maiden name at the end of emails, or said it over the phone and also kept forgetting my new signature. Even seven months later I was sat in Specsavers waiting room and heard “Kayleigh Caton” three times before I realised, “that’s me!”. It’s a big change, so don’t worry yourself over it.
Marriage isn’t difficult.
Before getting married I always read that marriage is difficult. I’ll be honest, this worried me, but I never understood why people found it difficult. One year down the line, in my experience, nothing has changed. We’re still the same two people, still madly in love, still goofy and childish yet serious when we need to be, but the difference is we’re Mr & Mrs. Nothing has made us think, “wow, marriage is hard”, over the last year. Is there something I’m missing here?
It takes FOREVER to change your name on all your accounts.
The first thing I changed was my passport – pretty much the week after the wedding. Then I prioritised the likes of insurance polices, doctors, and driving license. But still, one year later, I’m yet to change my name on my phone, some other utilities or even my breakdown cover. Some companies make the process a right pain in the arse! So I gave up after 3 months and will wait until they all renew.
It will sound weird saying ‘husband’ or ‘wife’ at first.
I remember the first food shop we got delivered after the wedding and the driver made a comment about a pack of Scotch Bonnets in the bag asking if I like curries. My response was, “no I don’t like spice, but my husband loves them on his fajitas” – I remember pausing and thinking, “is that right? Husband?”.
You’ll probably jump into something new together.
We’d been in our house for 18 months when we got married, all of which I wanted a rabbit. Two months after getting married, we got one. Five months after that, we adopted a second one. On top of marriage and a mortgage, this was another big commitment for us – a pet! It’s nice to have a joint responsibility like a pet, especially as that ‘next step’. May not be a big deal to some, but it’s something we’ve enjoyed.
You’ll feel old, temporarily.
When not all your friends and family are married and you’re one of the first, it’s a weird feeling. “Am I getting old?”. The answer is, you’re most definitely not. Marriage as a word is just so grown up, but I know people who have got married far younger than we did at 26 & 28 years old!
You’ll probably develop more of a routine.
We had a slight routine before marriage, but since getting married, we’ve definitely developed a more strict regime; bed at 10.30pm, feed the bunnies at 8.30am, tea by 7pm etc. We used to be a bit all over the place beforehand, so I guess this is a nice trait to develop from marriage.
You become better with your finances.
Before marriage we never joined our finances, and also didn’t until around 9 months after getting married. We were both good with money beforehand, but since marriage I guess we’ve been more open about what we want to do with our money; house projects, savings, investments etc. As we’re both on the same page with our money goals, that’s when we decided to join our finances. My big tip for this however, is to still have your salary paid into your own account. You still want that independence by having your own bank card, and seeing your hard earned money going into your account.
You will look back at your wedding day and wonder what you’d do differently.
It’s not that we had any regrets, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Once we experienced our special day and are able to look back, it’s only then you know where you spent money on unnecessary supplies, or what you’d do differently with the order of the day. Don’t fret over it – unless you really want to do it all again. I’m bottling up my learnings and passing them on to friends who are now in the process of planning their big day!
What has marriage taught you?